


Humans don't

by Green_Sphynx



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Act 1 shenanigans, Carver you foolish boy, Crush, F/M, Gamlen in the other room, Leandra in the other room, Male Hawke in the other room, Masturbation, Merrill is oblivious in all the wrong ways as usual, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 09:46:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14306031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Green_Sphynx/pseuds/Green_Sphynx
Summary: It's not easy being young, horny and living in close quarters with your family when all you want is have a good wank while imagining your crush.





	Humans don't

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hollyand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyand/gifts).



It wasn't easy, getting a little privacy when living in a cramped little hovel with your nosy brother, mother and uncle.

It wasn't easy, being young and horny and _deprived_ because you couldn't just rub one out _anywhere_ and then there was this pretty girl prancing around in front of him all the time giving him awkward boners at the most horrible times. Honestly, he thought he was past the age of awkward random boners, but Merrill was there to prove him wrong with a bat of her eyelashes and an innocent 'did I miss something dirty' at the simplest un-dirtiest questions.

So it was a given that the moment Carver woke up and found himself alone in the bedroom, he took the opportunity in both hands.

One hand to roughly fist his cock, and the other to fondle his balls - and that left his mind nice and available for sweet fantasies about a pretty girl he would never dare to ask if she was even interested.

He figured Garrett was out, considering he couldn't hear his brother in the other room. And when his brother was present, you could _always_ hear him. Carver did hear the shuffle of Gamlen and his mother, but they wouldn't come disturb him. Or if they would, they'd knock first, like decent people.

As long as he was quiet, he would have nothing to be afraid of. The loudest thing he did was spit in his hand to make the slide on his cock a little more slick, a little less burning of friction, and after that he just bit his lip and made sure to not breathe a noise.

The sound of his slick hand on his cock was loud in his ear, as well as the creak of the bed and the rustle of the sheets, but he knew those weren't half as loud as it sounded. He was a soldier before, he'd listened to his fellows getting off subtly. He knew they wouldn't hear him in the other room over.

He could just stroke himself hard and fast - better not risk getting caught by simply taking too long - images of Merrill flashing before his eyes.

He didn't have time to build up a proper fantasy of her. He could think of her on her knees and stroking his cock for him, needing both those tiny hands to fit around his girth, blinking up at him with those large, beautiful eyes of her. Or he could think of the taste of her lips- no, he couldn't do that. That was… too much her. Too much Merrill. Imagining her stroking him could still be any elf on her knees, simply with her face, but a kiss? A kiss would be her face, the flavour and texture of her lips, the soft sound in the back of her throat-

Carver bit down a groan, stroking a little harder. He felt like he was violating Merrill by just imagining her kiss him, but Maker's balls what a beautiful image it was. Her face, her hands, her lips, all on him- and _oh, how he liked to imagine his own hands on her even more._ Her thin body quivering beneath him, small breasts perfect to lick and nip at, a hairless slender body of one single gentle curve rather than the mountain range that would be Isabela's body. Her silky hair between his fingers - would her hair be as silky as it looked? It shone so prettily, not greasy like Garrett's hair or his own. And those little braids that made him want to tug on them like a little boy demanding attention.

Carver barely noticed the voices in the next room, not with how caught up he was in his fantasies of _Merrill_ and _beautiful_ and _adorable_ , his one hand slickly sliding over his cock and the other rubbing against his perineum, knuckles brushing his balls every now and then. He didn't notice Garrett's voice - he _always_ heard Garrett's voice, why would hearing it alarm him anymore? - and didn't realise that the sweet lilt of Merrill wasn't part of his fantasy until the door opened.

He froze, rock hard and entirely exposed on the bed, eyes wide as he watched Merrill come into the room and walk over.

"Hello Carver! Oh, I didn't mean to disturb you, I just came to get Hawke's pillow! There's not enough chairs, you see?" She plucked the pillow of Garrett's bed and walked out again, just like that, leaving Carver frozen and absolutely mortified.

The next room was entirely quiet for a moment until Merrill's bubbly voice started up again.

Did she… not notice what he was doing? Was he too high up on the bunk bed for the petite elf to see? Could he actually be that lucky?

_Had Merrill just been in the room with him while he was holding his cock hard and dripping in his hand?_

He whimpered softly, more in confusion than anything else, and his hand moved to pump his cock without his conscious consent.

Once, twice, and then Merrill burst in again, this time flailing her arms in a wildly apologetic gesture.

"Oh Carver, I'm so sorry! I didn't know that humans don't masturbate and I just told your family!"

"You… did what?" He squeaked, brain not quite ready to digest that information. Nope, it would never be ready for that bit of information, in fact.

"Don't worry, I can make this right!"

He was still sitting there, still hard, still with one hand on his cock and the other on his balls, and Merrill just gracefully climbed on the bunk bed to kneel between his legs.

"If I do it for you it's not masturbating anymore! You can face your family without a worry!" She beamed.

He gaped.

Her face fell.

_Oh no, her face fell._

"…did I miss something dirty again?"


End file.
